第7部份：何时开始？妊娠期
要在什麽时候开始教导孩子？如何进行？
阿博都巴哈说，当母亲怀了孕，就必须开始给胎儿进行适当的教育。
在每天的不同时间，为胎儿朗诵祷文、唱歌和吟诗。他说，一旦怀孕，孩子的灵魂便已存在，这些吟唱如阳光投在孩子的灵魂上，又好比雨水落在花朵上。
孩子诞生后，母亲为他哺乳的时候，也应一边吟诵上天的诗篇。孩子喝着乳液，也喝着上帝的话语。
哺喂人乳的重要性
巴哈欧拉和阿博都巴哈把教育儿童的重担，放在母亲身上。阿博都巴哈在诠释男女平等时，说，在服务的彊场，将出现伟大的女英雄，其大胆无畏的精神和卓越的学问，比之男性有过之而无不及。
这是阿博都巴哈对女性的预言。
东方社会的男人有些有两个太太，有时，你发现其中一个妻子所生的孩子十分杰出，另一个妻子的孩子却平平无奇。往往，这是因为那个杰出的孩子的母亲给他喂人奶，母亲喂奶时还给孩子唱祷文，这孩子得到奶水的营养，也得到巴哈欧拉的爱。而另一个母亲却没有这样做。
一位波斯籍巴哈伊曾写信给巴哈欧拉，这样说：“我怎能离开你的爱呢？这个爱随着妈妈的奶汁给了我，它在我的灵魂裡了。当妈妈给我奶汁时，她也给了我你的爱。它随着母亲的乳液，进入了我的灵魂，将来也要随着我的灵魂，离开这个身体。”这段话讲得非常美丽。母亲的奶汁对孩子有巨大的影响，尤其当它和适当的灵性气氛揉合在一起的时候。
因而，母亲应儘量给孩子哺喂人奶。但是，巴哈欧拉说，哺乳人奶不必超过一年。
让父母的爱充塞孩子心中
孩子要到几岁才适合出去社交呢？根据阿博都巴哈的说法，是在他5岁的时候。
各位必须记住，儿童都有奇特的力量以了解各种事物，他们很容易迷上父母亲的某种行为。他们会爱上父母亲的体味，因而不喜欢被别的人拥抱。对他们来说，父母亲之外，任何人都是陌生人。你出去野餐一天，把孩子留在家裡，回来时看你的孩子对你会有多麽的陌生。他不高兴，觉得伤心，但是说不出来。
我看到有些人把年纪只有二、三岁的孩子，送到住家以外某个地方，把他们留在一间小房裡，由一批老师弄得忙碌不堪。这使他们心痛不已。在这生命起始的当儿，已然意识到，他们在家中不受欢迎，但是他们讲不出来。
这是何以阿博都巴哈说，让孩子们的心中洋溢着父母的爱。
把孩子留在家中5年
孩子应留在家中与父母亲在一起，直到5岁。要是带他到别的地方，可邀约其他的孩子跟他在一起，并由家中的一名成员陪伴着，那他就不觉得陌生。如果父母把孩子单独地送到一个远地方，孩子对父母亲的行为感得奇怪、伤心。这些小小的伤痛将改变孩子的天性，到了某个地步，它将兑变成别的事物，如偏见、厌恶、憎恨或类似的东西。
尊敬的态度、礼貌和善良
阿博都巴哈说，到了5岁把孩子们聚合在一处。
你发觉，他说把孩子们聚合在一起，没说教他们书写和阅读。
当他们在一起时，教导他们彼此互相尊敬，以善良和礼貌相待。
他说，自童年开始，教导他们爱护动物。当它饿了，给它食物；渴了，给它水喝；不要把重物放在它们身上。
他说，动物有苦不会申诉，因而要使孩子们对动物有怜爱之心，对它们的负担、痛苦和艰难有所体会。
然而，也不能过于溺爱动物，以致他们只知道照顾动物，而忽略了人。善待动物只是教育的一部份，必须把人放在第一位，了解人的痛苦。
带他们到印度去看看，他们会更加感激你给他们的一切。带他们去巴基斯坦和远东国家，看看那些贫穷的人如何生活。带他们去波利维亚，我没见过有哪一个国家比波利维亚更加贫穷的了。
这裡的要点是，要使孩子们学习互相敬爱，以礼待人，态度良好。
当你前面有一大群孩子，教导他们这些美德十分不容易。我多年来屡屡尝试这样做，总是觉得非常不易。然而，只要付出耐心，不要被他们的行为挑起你不安的情绪，坚持下去，有一天，你发觉好的成果突然冒了出来，你心中的快乐将永远不会消散。
阿拉伯文把“人”称为ENSAN，这个字是“群居”的意思，一个人喜欢和别的人在一起，不爱独处。这是何以阿博都巴哈说，把他们聚合在一起，并教导他们爱心、礼貌和尊敬的态度。假如他们没有这些品德，他们将在社群裡制造破坏。
巴哈伊信仰没订下一套普世的行为准则，但是有放诸四海而皆准的礼貌和爱的条规，由此逐渐把行为准则肯定下来。因而，我们一定让孩子们学习尊敬、礼貌和善良这三件事。将来，这些品德的实践将是非常具体和实际的。
阅读和书写
让我再一次强调，这些话阿博都巴哈都说过，先教导孩子行为和礼貌之后，才逐渐教他们阅书和书写。这方面的教导仍然要小心进行，做老师的要有关怀的态度、爱心和耐性。
有些老师因孩子两个星期尚无法写好一个A字，而大发雷霆。他认为他笨，并且跟整班的同学说他是个笨蛋。他不晓得这样做对孩子构成了如何一种伤害，也不晓得自己犯了多麽大的罪过。
让这些能力自然形成。有些孩子用左手写字而蒙受无妄之灾，父母打他们要他们改掉。他们不知道，那是孩子的天性。
这是孩子在成长，隐藏在他们内裡的事物显露出来了，我们不要以自己的喜恶去抹杀它。我们应当给予指导，经常都在指导。
在教导书写和阅读的同时，阿博都巴哈说，我们还要下功夫让他们认识人生，了解人生的意义，立定人生的志向，确定奋斗的目标，看到一个更远大更宽广的人生图景，以致朝这样的理想追求。
每一个儿童都有他的潜能
他说，每一个孩子都有天赋的能力去学习上面讲的种种，唯所花的时间各有不同。同一样东西有些孩子一天就学会，有些要花一个月。虽然速度快慢不一，但是迟早都能上手。老师常常因为孩子学得慢而发脾气，那不应该，相反的，在孩子挣扎的当儿，老师最需要表现他的智慧和爱心。
打个比喻说：这裡有一群孩子，我们叫他们跑到城市裡的某个地方。有些孩子5分钟就到了，有些要一天的时间，有些可能两天才抵达。阿博都巴哈说，我们的目的是要他们到达那儿，在这段时间内，老师必需非常有智慧及耐心，才能确保他们都到达目的地。绝不可显出厌恶的态度，“你没看到他们早就在到那儿了吗？只花了5分钟。”这种话对孩子的伤害很大，使他觉得其他的孩子好像是他的母亲。绝对不可以这样做。
灵性教育
接着，阿博都巴哈谈到，我们必须提供孩子灵性的教育。
所谓灵性教育，係指调整他的行为，把他带入正确的人生道路。
每当他做了一件好事，马上给予鼓励。请注意，是鼓励，而非讚美。别说：“你是全国最好的孩子，我们邻家的孩子都不如你。”这种讚美的话制造一种不健康的竞争，将彻底摧残孩子。我们只是给他鼓励。
假如孩子做了一件错事——请千万记住，这非常重要——他没说可以鞭打孩子。相反的，他说，绝对不可以鞭打或敲击孩子。
那我们该怎麽办呢？他说，唤醒他。用你美丽的话语、你的善良、你的爱心、你的例子、你一切的美德，去唤醒他，让他明白，他哪裡犯了错。
假设一个孩子打破了这个花盆，我用一根木棍打了他10下，我有解决问题吗？没有。
现在，有两个东西破了，一个是花盆，一个是孩子。
神圣律法
巴哈欧拉说，在提供儿童灵性教育的同时，必须教导他们认识神圣的律法。
巴哈欧拉作出这个命谕的时候，也以美丽的词句指出，绝不可因为教导神圣律法，而造成孩子对巴哈伊信仰，或其他宗教产生偏见。
一句话，一个微小的动作，要是在孩子心中制造了偏见，可是学校裡最有破坏性的行为。
要经常强调宗教的团结、上天的团结和人类的团结这三个巴哈伊信仰的中心思想。
假如一个孩子说：“那些人的家裡都有圣诞树。”而你以一个迅速而负面的语气回答说：“哦！他们是基督教徒嘛！”仅仅这句话，就会在一个巴哈伊儿童的心裡，制造一种对基督教徒的偏见，乃为不智。
我们应该友爱地给他解释，让他懂得尊敬别人拥有的东西。同时说明何以我们要有所不同。这是一个伟大的观点，需要认真搞清楚。
做事情要有始有终
阿博都巴哈说，从孩提时代就教导孩子，不管做什麽事，一旦开了头，就要做到结尾。
要确保他们有恆心把开了头的工作做完，不可半途而废。教他们掌握这个美德，因这裡头隐藏着一个秘密，对灵魂益处很大。
当你完成了一件工作，你将获得巨大的快乐，既使只是一件很小的事情。
譬如：你写信给你的朋友，写完后你在信末签上名字的时候，你觉得快乐。因为你知道，你做好了一件事。
假如完成工作的人，是一个小孩，你想，他的快乐又是如何的大呢？
阿博都巴哈说，假如你依照这种智慧、友爱和具有保护性的系统调教孩子，到了成熟的年龄，他们将有如明亮的蜡烛，照亮世间黑暗的角落。他们不受一己的肉慾、情感和喜怒好恶，这些属于兽性的事物所俘虏。
专业训练
一个人来到了世间之后，需要在创造的世界裡，寻找他自己的位置。阿博都巴哈和圣护守基阿芬第，都没有指定巴哈伊必须从事某种行业。有人问圣护他该读哪一科，圣护以这人的能力给他介绍了一个科系，譬如医科。然而，这不等于所有巴哈伊都必须学医。
家长和学校应携手合作，去发掘每一个孩童的天赋能力，并引导这些能力往某种在他的生命中，被命定的事业上面，以便让他的生命的目的得以实现。
假如你跟孩子的接触密切，你将很轻易便能找到他的天赋能力，训练他的老师和深造班的老师，往往也能够发现他有哪些方面的才能。
支持孩子发展潜能
我们要全力支持孩子，把才华发挥出来。
才华可以是一种技艺，或发明、发现的能力，或通晓哲学，或写诗的天份，不一而是，任何一种都令人佩服。
假如孩子是天生的诗人，做父母的不应告诉他，当诗人赚不了什麽钱，相反的，应当鼓励他写更多的诗。假如你看见一个人有音乐天份，你该鼓励他在音乐方面谋求发展，不要像旧时代的人，鄙视音乐。
要是我们控制这种才能的自然发展，它将走失方向，变成有害的了。不管他的才华在哪一个方面，让它自然发展都是最好的。
家庭生活
昨天我们在讨论儿童教育的时候，我强调一件事——我永远要这样强调——就是：我们必须把自己的家，那个共同的家庭生活的所在地，塑造成一个蕴育孩子的灵魂，并使它诞生的胚胎。
正如孩子在母亲的胚胎裡获得濡养，时间到时，便呱呱坠地来到人间。那是肉体的诞生。
让你的家成为他灵魂的胚胎，以致到了六、七岁时，他说：“我要去上星期天的巴哈伊课程学习。”到了十五岁，他说：“我是巴哈伊社群中，一个责任分子，现在我要注册为一名巴哈伊。”这该是你的家庭教育所产生的一个自然的结果，一种灵性的诞生。
在家中朗读祷文时，要清楚地读出祷文的字句，让孩子们听到，知道你在祈祷。当孩子把父母视为心目中最伟大的老师时，便有一种意愿要跟随父母亲的脚步。在不同的时间朗读其他祷文，让孩子们听到巴哈欧拉优美的词句。
你或许要问，为什麽要强调祷文？阿博都巴哈解释说，你在屋内和屋外都种一棵树，那株在阳光照射下的将会成长。同样的道理，那些置于巴哈欧拉和阿博都巴哈美妙的祷文之下的儿童，将会成长，缺乏这灵性阳光的，则不会。
在你的巴哈伊生活中，要格外留意一件事。它会摧毁你的巴哈伊生活，破坏灵性胚胎的气氛，这就是背后批评的行为。
假设你家裡开了一个茶会，你在跟朋友们喝茶聊天，孩子们在外面玩，有些孩子尚在稚嫩之龄。你以为他们听不懂你们的谈话，一个人讲了某个人的坏话，于是大家开始批评这个人。另一些人加进去，讲了更多批评的话。这使到整个气氛受到破坏，并产生一种“毒素”。这毒素将深入儿童的心灵裡，毒害他们的心灵。
当他们稍微长大，他们就不肯坐下来听你祈祷了，你强迫他们都没用。我们的罪，我们所说的话，使孩子们完全脱离了巴哈欧拉的信仰。
请记住，永远，永远不要让一个人在你家中讲一句别人的坏话。相反的，找出别人身上小小的特征，加以描绘。例如：某某人是一个好老师，遣词优美，永远不发脾气。某某人记忆力蛮好的，什麽东西给他读三遍就可以背出来，无论到哪裡都可以朗诵诗歌。向孩子们强调这些，而他们将找到门径，进入你所描绘的氛围裡。
不要故意讲些东西来表示你责怪他，要纯粹只是塑造一种和睦、友爱及欣赏的气氛。在这样一种家庭气氛下，阿博都巴哈说，一个孩子在一个月内所学的东西，比得上其他孩子一年所学。
你给予你的孩子12倍于其他孩子的学习能力。我们要是没掌握好巴哈欧拉和阿博都巴哈所给予的这个巨大的机会，不是很可惜吗？
第8部份：教导的方法
不要使用强制性手段
首先，让我讲讲巴哈欧拉给“儿童”这个词所下的定义。祂在圣文中说，儿童是上帝的宝库送给家庭。在这宝库裡有上帝的手所放置的各种珠宝。
家长和学校的任务，就是把这些珠宝找出来，加以拭亮，使世人从中受惠。
这个过程不能靠强硬的手段来完成，正如你不可以把一朵花从茎裡抽出来。你必须爱护和照顾它，它才会自己长出来。
体现巴哈伊生活
我认为，教导儿童最好的方法，是活出巴哈伊的生活。这将是孩子最大的榜样。我们大谈一千个巴哈欧拉的故事，大谈祂的诫令、律法、和指示，不如家中长辈一个微小的体现巴哈伊精神的行为。
请记住，巴哈伊生活对于我们来说，乃是鱼水之情。我们是鱼，活在巴哈欧拉所创造的信仰的水裡。我们集体活在这个（巴哈伊）社区裡，要是我们把孩子，或我们自己，从这水裡抽离，等待我们的将是死亡。
有时候，很不幸的，我们发现这水有些溷浊。我们背景，我们的短处，和我们对巴哈欧拉信仰的缺乏了解，造成水的溷浊。然而，即使水裡满是泥，看不见鱼，鱼仍然要活在水中。鱼要是离开了水，只有死路一条。
因此，假如有人对巴哈伊社区发出怨言，譬如，指某个巴哈伊的某些行为，不属于巴哈伊生活方式。那就由他吧。让我们互相容忍，互相为彼此受苦。这样的结果对我们的孩子好处极大，并使我们快乐。
让他们感受到，上天的爱为他们做一切事情。
祂说，教养孩子必须让他确认上天的爱，影响他们全部的存在。
这话是什麽意思呢？
假设我们种一棵树，我们要让它长在阳光和微风裡。同样的，要经常把孩子置于一种状况，以致他感受到上帝的爱，在为他做一切事情；觉得那慈悲者的和风，畅快他的精神。
在家中讲故事
有两种故事可以在家中讲述，第一种是家中长辈的故事，第二种是早期巴哈伊教徒的美丽故事。孩子们在一边玩耍，父母亲坐在另一边，一面品茗，一面讲述早期巴哈伊的故事。他说，在这种情况下，孩子有如上帝的花园裡的幼株，在上帝的至善裡成长。
在家中讨论圣文
当我们在家中阅读巴哈欧拉圣作的时候，可引述一些其他的事情来讨论。不必规定孩子们坐下来听，在你的家庭气氛内讨论就行了。巴哈欧拉的灵性气息将充满、震盪整个家庭。孩子们很快就会变得富有灵性。
高声朗读祷文
早晨在家裡朗读祷文，不要感到害羞，要大声读出来。你难道向人讲“我爱你”也觉害羞吗？不，我们应该为自己的富有爱心而骄傲。
因而，为什麽我们要为站在创造者的面前，说：“我爱你，我愿意遵从你的意愿。”而觉得害躁呢？
高声读出祷文，让上帝美丽的词藻，穿透家中每一个角落。
上一回，我在加里福尼亚这裡的时候，有一个人走来跟我说，他要注册为一名巴哈伊。我问他为什麽。他说，当年他在德黑兰，每天早上醒来的时候，总有两个声音传进他的卧室裡。一个来自父亲的卧室，一个来自母亲的房间，他们都在朗读早晨的祷文。这些祷文使他的生命得到新的活力，使他一整天快乐无比。这事已过去20年，然而，在每天的早晨，他还是依稀听到那悠美的朗诵。现在，他快要结婚了，他要他的孩子也享受到同样的快乐。
为什麽要剥夺孩子们聆听上天的话语的机会呢？让他们听到那些祷文吧，既使是还在吸奶的婴孩。
让他们每天听义务祷文同样的话语，看到同样的跪拜动作，这将在他们心中产生一种穿透性的影响。
然后，在不同的时间，可以朗读其他的祷文。不必强迫他们听。你在朗诵或吟唱时，那振动的音韵，将传到孩子们的心灵裡。以致有一天，他们会说，他们要去上巴哈伊课程了。他有兴趣学习祈祷了，而且觉得并不难。到了15岁，他自动要成为社区裡一个负责的成员。
我们要经常让孩子觉得，家中的每一刻都是一种享受。然而家长不当的行为，会导致孩子远离信仰，厌倦家中的生活，憎恨父母，我们将永远失去他们。请记住，背后批评的行为乃是这灵性胚胎最大的敌人。
背后批评像个恶瘤，来到一个家之后，便会一直传染下去，很难灭除。硬要根除的话，整个家都会受到干扰。所以，最好永远不要让它进来。
家长之间的团结合作
当我们在上帝的雨盖下，得到祂的同意，用祂的话语而结合时，意味着，从那时起，我们的生命已属于祂，所以，永远，永远不要想着夫妻之间的分歧。
不要把这20世纪的生活，反映在我们家中。20世纪的文明，正在巴哈伊的家中灭亡。
让我们的团结完完整整，为了保护孩子，谁有困难，就给谁支持。妻子晚上要去委员会为巴哈欧拉服务，男人留在家中照顾孩子，当被视为一种荣幸。反之亦然。
假如丈夫是灵体会的一名成员，妻子说，“去吧，不要想着孩子，让我照顾他们，我支持你的一切。”这种互相支持的爱心，乃是巴哈伊生活的写照。夫妻之间最大的关怀也在这方面。
丈夫和妻子需互相扶持
科学家巴士德的妻子，每天傍晚6时给他准备了晚餐，她就在桌旁等他的丈夫从实验室下来，往往一直等到午夜过后两、三点，她坐在那裡等待，同时祈求丈夫的研究取得成功。过后，他们一起祈祷，祈求上天指引，好让他发现一些关于人体健康的真相。巴士德成为本世纪（20世纪）初期最伟大的发明家之一，这是其中一个原因。
妇女是人类生活中最重要的元素，我最近发现，阿博都巴哈谈过妇女这课题，以致我准备重读历史。他说，假如我们深入所有世界大事件的最底点，我们将会发现，一定有妇女在那裡。世界最伟大的发明，最重要的发现，最重大的历史事件，都是由妇女所促成。
拿破仑说，妇女用一隻手推动摇篮，用另一隻手推动世界。真的，的确如此。尤其当妇女深爱她的丈夫，并且爱他所做的事，对他为圣道所做的服务予以鼓励，支持他所写，所讲的东西的时候。
阿博都巴哈的教育方法
阿博都巴哈的教育方法很难跟随，但我们必须尝试学习。他往往朝一个人的脸注视，他的眼睛像一束光，深入这个人的灵魂，将裡面好的东西取出来。
我们可以用同样的方法，在孩子的灵魂裡，搜寻上天存放在那裡的金银珠宝，把它取出来。然后告诉他们，你有这些瑰宝在你裡面。他时常需要用得着它。
当年的阿卡城裡有一个人，经常给巴哈伊制造麻烦。他也找阿博都巴哈，也上阿博都巴哈的家，在阿博都巴哈的集会上出现。有一天，阿博都巴哈接到一个消息，有一名美国巴哈伊要来阿卡朝圣，但是由于某种限制不能过来。
阿博都巴哈把这个经常制造麻烦的人叫来，对他说：“我有一个任务要交给你做，我知道你一定能够帮我做好这件差事。”
这人说，好的，教长，我可以做什麽呢？
阿博都巴哈说，有位美国来的香客，名字如此这般，你到海法去，把他带来此地。他将跟我在一起三几天，然后，你再带他去海法上船。除了你和我，没有人知道这件事。
那人说，我这就去。
阿博都巴哈说，他果然替阿博都巴哈做好了那件差事，没有人知道，因那人经常给阿博都巴哈带来的麻烦。
当他说“我知道你一定能够帮我做好这件差事”的时候，这人好的一面被叫出来了。他踌躇满志要给阿博都巴哈最大的满意，而替他做了那件差事。
这方法对谁都很管用，父亲、母亲和教师有责任去了解潜藏在孩子内裡的伟大品质，并把它开掘出来。
巴哈欧拉和阿博都巴哈教育儿童的几个故事
在海法有一个人（他现在很老了，而且，几乎不能自理），曾对我说，童年时，他喜欢赌博，赌注可也下得不小。他们用硬币取代石弹子在街上玩，那是一种相当昂贵的游戏。只要把硬币打出圈外，那个硬币就是属于他的。
这人说，他们每天都在街上玩这游戏，有一天，他瞄准了一枚硬币，正要把它敲出去的时候，有人弄了弄他的耳朵。他一转身，看见阿博都巴哈站在旁边。
教长把一粒圆石子放在他的耳朵上，用两个手指头轻轻按住。
他说，当时，他并不觉害怕，但为自己的所作所为感到羞耻。
他说：“阿博都巴哈拉我起来，然后，我们一同走在路上。他的手指仍然贴在我的耳朵上。我们这样走过街道，到他的7号门牌住家。常常有香客到那裡来拜访他。到了门口，他放开捉住我耳朵的手。
“他进入屋内，跟僕人说，阿末是一个好孩子，我要跟他喝茶。他真的非常好，去弄几杯茶来。”
他说：“当阿博都巴哈说我是一个好孩子，并且要跟我喝茶的时候，我更加为自己的作为感到羞耻。我们坐下来一起喝茶，过了大约半句钟，阿博都巴哈看着我说：‘现在你可以回去了。’然后对僕人说：‘给他一个马之第（一个马之第是一个银币，等于那时的二、三元），他需要用到它。”
你看到这裡头的奥妙吗？他说：“他需要用到它！”
那人说：“那次事件过后，我再也不赌博，也不爱赌了。”
个中的理由很明显，阿博都巴哈完全没有露出反对的意思，他只是跟他走在一起，以爱心改变了他整个的本性。他把他本性中好的东西唤了出来。教长像一道光，照进他的灵魂，把灵魂裡好的本性发掘了出来，将赌博的黑暗盖了下去。
结果如何？他说，自此之后，那个出去赌的慾望，那种瘾，完全离他而去。
假如这孩子当时被打了，或被家长粗言责备，他一定还会再赌。
阿博都巴哈这种轻描澹写处理赌博，只管把他好的品质唤醒，并让这好的品质压倒一切的方法，才是最好的医治。这就是所谓让孩子自己明白所犯的错误的意思。
有另外一个老教友，在巴哈欧拉的时期，他还是一个小孩，但已经是巴哈伊。他告诉我说，每逢週五，教长都要检查他们一週内写的东西，然后给他们每人一个小礼物、一支铅笔、一支自来水笔、一粒糖果或其他的东西，或一句话。
他说：“有一次，我什麽也没写，只好拿上个星期的作业来敷衍。阿博都巴哈走下楼梯，要往一群站着的男同学走过去，他一面踩着梯级，一面看着我的脸。我怕得直打哆嗦。他翻翻我的簿子，说：‘很好，但是没有进步。’他就只说了这几句，没有责备，没有发怒，没有侮辱，没有在同学面前揭露秘密，没有充满罪恶的眼光，同样有礼物，就是一句讚美的话。”
这个教友说，他更小的时候，住在阿卡城。阿卡城的夏天非常炎热，下午的时候，人们往往都去睡觉。 有一个夏天某日，巴哈欧拉住家裡的人都午睡了，巴哈欧拉也在自己的房间裡睡觉。
这时，这位还是稚龄的教友，跑到厨房裡，坐在地上，把一隻手伸进一个装糖的袋子，把白糖倒出来吃。白糖掉在地上，散了满地，也散在他的衣服上。
他说：“巴哈欧拉忽然走进来，手裡拿着一个碟子和一支汤匙。祂把这些东西交给我，叫我用汤匙把糖舀进碟子裡，同时叫我拿一碟给我的哥哥。”
祂只说这些，没有问他为什麽不睡觉，也没说“难道你不知道其他的人都在睡觉吗？是谁叫你进来的？”祂只是训练他不要把手伸进粮食裡，用汤匙舀，倒进碟子裡，再拿一碟给哥哥。
伟大的导师训练儿童的方法，毕竟和常人的方法很不相同。
根据报导，巴哈欧拉曾经给祂的孙女，即阿博都巴哈的女儿糖果。她们基于礼貌，不要在巴哈欧拉的房间裡吃，而要到外面去吃。巴哈欧拉却叫她们坐在祂的房间裡吃。祂说：
“要是你们拿去外面，给教长看到了，他就会跟你们要了，给别的孩子。”
许多这类故事可以从阿博都巴哈的生平事蹟中读到，他着重于教育他们的灵魂，更甚于他们的外在。重要的是两方面必须齐头并进，不可偏重一方。
第9部份：千万不可以做的事
阿博都巴哈说，有两件事对儿童非常有害，一件是殴打，一件是咒骂。殴打表示你要报复和侮辱他，千万不可！假如他们把一个孩子带到课室前面打他，这将窒息他的灵性。他将往后退缩，只有上帝知道他什麽时候才会回来。
他要我们学习阿拉伯人训马的方法。阿拉伯人练马，绝不打马。假如他打了马，那匹马就永远不可以被训练了。
第二件千万不可为之事，是舌尖的鞭笞。
用恶毒的语言挞伐，比殴打还更要不得。绝对不可在其他孩子面前，侮辱一个孩子。单独一人在家也同样不可以污侮他。他说，语言挞伐对孩子的灵性成长，破坏很大。
语言挞伐也包括用咀咒的字眼责备，瞧不起或蔑视。不要作比较。
诸如：“你看，其他的同学都懂得乘法了，你还不懂。”“人家读了10本书了，你一本都还没读。”
有时候，我们以为每个孩子都是一样的，所以用同样的方法来调教。阿博都巴哈却说，非也，你走遍世界的仓库，也找不到两颗一模一样的小麦种籽。每一颗小麦种籽都和别的有些不同。
那麽，为什麽我们希望孩子们犹如出自同一副机器，有同样的体积、同样的本领呢？
不可能如此。
你必须有自己的一套方法来教导孩子，不要跟其他的孩子作比较，也不要让别人拿他的孩子跟你的比较。
有些父母喜欢说自己孩子的好话，“你的孩子还不会走路吗？我的孩子可以跑了，再过一个月就可以踢足球了。”他们看低其他人的孩子。不要这样做，也不要受这些话影响。不要听人家这样说了，回去强迫自己的孩子学走路。
这些事我都见过。我在一个集会上，曾经看见有个孩子说了一句salom，那是阿拉伯语“欢迎“的意思，便有一个母亲打了她的孩子，要她的孩子也学人家说salom。我说：“请不要这样，他迟早会说的，只是时间未到。”
我们要对孩子有同情心，尊敬他们，爱护他们，不要强迫他们适应我们的方式。他说，鞭打及口舌的挞伐，摧毁儿童的个性，其后果对家庭极为不利。
儿童是上帝的宝库赐给我们，是祂对我们的一个信託。所以我们必须跟孩子在一起，在他们身上注入大量的智慧、耐性和爱。
如果他们犯了错，要让他们醒悟于自己的错误。假如经过一次、两次、一百次的训练，他们还是没有达到你要求的地步，你还得继续努力。迟早他们将会醒悟过来，并且不再重犯。上天考验我们的耐心。
背后批评
你可知道，先知穆罕默德如何形容背后批评？
祂说，背后批评是“一个人在吃他死去的兄弟的肉”。
然后，祂问：“你喜欢吗？ ”
谁喜欢吃自己的死去的兄弟的肉呢？祂说：背后批评就是好比这样。
这些，在《可兰经》裡都有记录。
祂说：上帝咀咒两种人，一种是背后批评的人，一种是听的人。
#全文完
A.Q 法依兹主讲
李开璇译（2012年）
原文：
PART 7 : When to begin
CONCEPTION
Now at what time should we start to educate the children, and how? ‘Abdu’l-Baha says their proper education starts from the time that mothers are conceived. They must at different times of the day and night say prayers, since songs, and poems. He says these words will be like sunshine on the soul of the child. You know ‘Abdu’l—Baba said that the moment the child is conceived the soul exists there! It is like rain on flowers. Then when the child is born and the mother is giving milk, at this time words of God should be uttered. As the child drinks the milk, drinks the words of God.
SPIRITUAL SIGNIFICANCE OF BREAST FEEDING
In the education of the Baha’i children we come to a place where Baha’u’llah and Abdu’1-Baha laid the whole burden on the mothers. When He explains about the equality of men and women He says: But women will precede men in services. Great heroines will be found in the arena of service from amongst women, being more audacious, more courageous, more learned than men. He has made this prophecy about women. Now, when you see a father with two wives (as in the East), the children of one of them become excellent, and the other one no. It’s the pure milk of the mother which nourishes the child and lets the child grow in the love of Baha’u’llah in the love of the Faith, because at the time when the child is fed the mother chants prayers. Perhaps the other one will not.
One of the Persian believers wrote to Baha’u’llah and said: “How can I ever leave loving you;” means forsake you, “because this love is given with the milk of mother to me, and will go out from me with my on soul.” He meant the mother gave him this love. “Ever since she gave me milk she gave me the love of Baha’u’llah too. With the milk of mother, this love went in my soul, and with my soul will leave my body. How can I ever be without Your love.” And it was beautiful. The milk of mother has the greatest influence on the child, when it is joined with proper spiritual atmosphere.
Therefore breast the children as much as you can. But Baha’u’llah says only one year, not more than that.
HEARTS OF CHILDREN MUST BE SATURATED WITH THE LOVE OF PARENTS
The beginning of the time when we gather children together, according to ‘Abdu’l-Baha, is at the age of five. Please remember let’s always all of us remember that the children have peculiar powers to understand things, and to become addicted to certain behavior of father and mother. First they become addicted (or attached) to the perfume of father and mother. That’s why they don’t want to go to other peoples’ arms. The other people seem to them as strangers. Leave a’ child at home one day and go for a picnic, when you come back that child of yours will feel strange toward you. He doesn’t like it, he feels sad, he cannot explain it. I have seen many people at the age of two or three send their children out to a certain place, to be gathered, in a small room and kept busy by some teachers, away from the house. This breaks their hearts! From the very beginning they sense, they feel that they are not wanted in the house — they can’t say it. Therefore ‘Abdu’l-Baha says the feelings, the hearts of children must be saturated with love of parents.
KEEP THEM WITH YOU FOR FIVE YEARS AT HOME
Keep them with you for five years at home. Invite other children to play as guests to other places, accompanied by one of you, by a member of the family. Then the child will not feel like a stranger. But if you send him or her alone to a far place, the child feels something strange in the deed and act of the parents and will be very sad. These little sadness will change the nature of children. In future they’ll grow into something else. They’ll grow into prejudice, into grudges, into hatred and other things.
MANNERS, KINDNESS, POLITENESS
‘Abdu’l-Baha said at the age of five gather children. But, you see here He says gather them together. He never says teach them how to read and write. Teach them manners, kindness, and politeness. Start to teach them these things at the age of five when they are together: kindness to each other, politeness to each other, and manners, especially. He said ever since their childhood teach them to love animals. To feed them when they are hungry. To give them water when they are thirsty, and, never burden them with anything, because He says these poor creatures have no tongue to complain with.
Therefore, let the children grow with this love, to understand the burden, the pain, the sufferings of animals. But please! Do not exaggerate in this, in such a manner as to only take care of animals and forget human beings. This must be a part of their education. They must first think of humankind — how much they suffer. Let the children go to India and they will be so thankful for whatever you give them. Let them go to Pakistan. Let them go to these far Eastern countries, to many of the poor destitute countries. Let them go to Bolivia. I have never seen any country as poor as Bolivia.
The most essential thing is this; that the children will learn to be polite with each other, to have certain manners, and to love each other. It’s very, very difficult when you have a large group of children, to deal with them. I have tried it myself many, many times, all along my life. I have found it extremely difficult. But if you have patience and you don’t get nervous or irritated, by their deeds, you just go on patiently with them, the results, the fruits will suddenly appear. That will be the eternal delight of your hearts.
In Arabic man is called ensan. Ensan means gregarious, a being who loves to be with others. He doesn’t want to be alone. That’s why ‘Abdu’l-Baha says bring them together and teach them these things because when they come together and they don’t have love, politeness, and manners, their society will be spoiled from the very beginning.
We still don’t have a universal system of manners in the Baha’i Faith. But we have the rules of politeness, we have the rule of love which is equal everywhere. The manners of course gradually will be certain in our lives. Therefore please try to teach the children these three things. In future all these things will be put into action in the most practical way.
READING AND WRITING
Again I say, ‘Abdu’l-Baha says all these things. And after that He says gradually start to teach them reading and writing. This should be done with the utmost of care, and love on behalf of the teachers, and patience also. Very often we lose our temper at the child who cannot write A after two weeks. We think that he is ignorant, that he is stupid, and we introduce him like that to the whole class. We don’t know what harm we are doing, and what great culprits we are when we do this to the children.
Let these come out by the children themselves. For example, how many children have suffered because they write with the left hand. The parents started to beat them, but they didn’t know that it’s the nature of the boy. Therefore such growth in the children; such manifestation of that which is hidden in the children shou1d not be controlled by our own desires. We must direct them, always direct them.
Now, along with this He always says combine it with some efforts, so that the aims, the purpose, the goal of life for children will become vaster, greater, and more remote, so that they will try to reach those great goals in their lives.
EVERY CHILD HAS CAPACITY
He says every child has been given the capacity to learn these things, but the time response is different. This is the cause of losing temper with children. They will eventually learn it, but some of them in one day, and some in one month, for instance. It is in this period that the teacher should be very wise and very loving. The example given: that à group of children will stand here, and we will ask them to run from here to a certain point in the town. The purpose is to reach that point, that’s all. One may run in five minutes and he is there; another in one day. Perhaps there is one who will reach there after two days: ‘Abdu’l-Baha said the aim is to reach there, and within this period the teachers must be very wise and patient, so that the child will reach there. Not to scorn them on the way. “Don’t you see the other one is there now, after five minutes.” This is what kills the spirit of the children — to make other children as mothers to them. This should never be done.
DIVINE EDUCATION
Then He says we must give them divine education. By divine education He means moderate their manners and their life, to bring them to the true path of life. Encourage them whenever they do something good. Please remember, not flattery. Not telling the child: “You are the best child of the whole country. Our neighbor’s child is not like you.” This destroys the children all together.
It creates a certain competition amongst the children which is not healthy. Just encourage them, and if they do something wrong — this is very important, please all of us remember — He never says beat the child. On the contrary, He says it’s absolutely forbidden to beat the child. No hitting and no beating. He says awaken the child. If the child does something wrong, awaken the child, make him understand that this was wrong by beautiful words, by examples, by kindness, by love, whatever manner you have. Suppose a child breaks this and I beat- him with a piece of wood ten times. Will this be all right again? Now we have two things broken the vase and the child.
DIVINE LAWS
Baha’u’llah says along with this you must teach them the Divine Laws. But this. sentence, this command by Baha’u’llah is followed by the beautiful expression which says only as much as it will not result in prejudice. Don’t make children prejudiced for the Baha’i Faith or — God forbid — against any other Faith. Any word, any small action which may create a prejudice in the hearts of children would be most detrimental to be done in the schools. Always turn the attention to the unity of all religions, to the unity of God and the unity of mankind, these three primal points in the Baha’i Faith.
Suppose a child comes to you and says: “Those children have Christmas trees in their houses.” “Oh! they are Christians!” (As a quick negative sounding answer) Just this sentence will create a prejudice against Christians in the heart of the Baha’i child. We must never do it. We must explain it to them in a loving way, so that they would respect what the others have, and at the same time show them that we must be different also. It’s a great point to be well understood.
TEACH THEM TO FINISH WHAT THEY START
‘Abdu’l-Baha says teach them from their childhood in such a way, that whatever they start to do, they’ll bring it to an end. Whatever they start to do, be persistent that they bring it to an end. Teach them this; this secret. There is a great, great, spiritual benefit by it; because when you achieve something you have the greatest amount of happiness. Even if it’s the smallest thing. When you write a letter of invitation to a friend, and when the letter is signed you feel happy that you have finished it. But what about a child who finishes something?
‘Abdu’l-Baha said if you follow this system of wisdom, loving care and protection of the children, to carry on with them in this way, when they reach the age of maturity they will be like candles burning in every dark corner of the world; and they will not be victims to their desires, passions and lusts, which belong to the animal kingdom.
PROFESSIONS
Each child is created to find his own place in the creation. There is no one job or one profession encouraged by ‘Abdu’l-Baha or the Guardian for the Baha’is to follow. Some people asked the
Guardian what they should study. Having in mind the capacity of the man who has questioned him, he for example told him to study medicine. It doesn’t mean that all the Baha’is should follow the study of medicine.
The parents and the school should hand in hand unite together and discover the capacities of the child, and try to channel all these capacities into that which he is destined to fulfill in life. You can discover it very soon in life when you’re in very much contact with your children yourself, and teachers of Baha’i training classes or deepening classes all together will be able to discover the talents of the children.
ANY TALENT SHOULE BE GIVT ALL SUPPORTS
Any talent that the child has should be given all supports to be manifested. Skills, inventions, discoveries, philosophy, poetry. Every one of these things is admirable. If a child is for example, born to be a poet, the father and mother should not tell him or her that this will not bring them any money. We must encourage him to do more about it, if he is born to be a poet. You see somebody is born to be a great musician, but we must encourage. Not like the olden days, it was despised. If we control this flow of talents they will turn out in other directions and be harmful. Anything is alright.
HOME LIFE
Yesterday we discussed a little bit about the education of the children, and the point which I emphasized, and will emphasize forever, is to please make the houses, the family life which you have all together, an embryo for the spiritual birth of the child. As the child has been taken care of in the embryo of the mother and in due time the child was born physically to this world, you must make the house as an embryo for the spiritual birth of the child. So that at the age of six or seven he’ll say: “I would like to attend Sunday classes to study the Baha’i Faith.” And at the age of fifteen he will say: “I am a responsible member of the Baha’i community. Now I would like to register myself.” It’s a natural outcome of your own education.
Say prayers at home in a loud voice, not very loud of course, so the children will hear the words and will find you saying prayers. The children first find the greatest teachers in their own parents, and they want to be in the places of their own parents. Also the other prayers which will be chanted at different times of the day or the night — let them hear these beautiful words of Baha’u’llah.
Now I emphasize on these prayers. You may ask what is the reason of this emphasizing? He (‘Abdu’l-Baha) says plant a seed in the house and another seed of the same kind outside. The one which is under the rays of the sun will grow. The child which is placed under these beautiful prayers of Baha’u’llah and ‘Abdu’l-Baha will grow, and others will not grow. Why should we deprive them of such bounties given to us by Baha’u’llah and the Center of the Covenant (‘Abdu’l-Baha)
Please be careful very much of one thing in your Baha’i life. The thing which will destroy the Baha’i life, which will demolish the spiritual atmosphere of this spiritual embryo is backbiting. Suppose you have a party here. You have tea and. coffee together with your friends, and your children are playing over there, even these children who are suckling.
One of you will say something against somebody and you start backbiting. Others will add things to it. This will destroy the whole atmosphere of this hall; will create a poison which will go deep into the soul and mind of the children. That’s why when they grow and you force them to sit down and listen to a prayer, they can’t do it. Because of our own sin. Because of what we have said. The attachment of the child to the Faith of Baha’u’llah has been totally taken away.
Please remember this — never, never allow anybody to utter a word against anybody in your house! On the contrary, find one little thing in a friend and start to describe it: He is a good teacher; he can speak with the contacts beautifully; he doesn’t lose his temper.
Stress on these things with your children, and the children will find a way again to grow into that atmosphere. Another one has a good memory. He memorizes poems in three times reading; can recite it in any place. Not in such a way that you are using this as a reprimand to the children. Never! Just create this atmosphere of good will, appreciation, end love in the family. Then ‘Abdu’l-Baha says such children will learn in one month what other children learn in twelve months. In this way you give twelve times more capacity to your children. Isn’t it a pity if we lose those great opportunities given to us by Baha’u’llah and ‘Abdu’l-Baha?
PART 8 : Methods of Teaching
NEVER USE FORCE
First of all we explained the definition given in the Writings of Baha’u’llah about the children. They are treasure houses of God granted to the family. In this treasure house there are precious jewels deposited by the Hands of God. The duty of parents, and school, is to explore, find out what are the jewels deposited, find them, polish them, and make the whole world benefit by them. This process is never to be done by force. We can never pull out a flower from the stem. It must be unfolded by itself under careful protection and education.
LIVING THE LIFE
The best way to educate our children I believe, will be to live the life of a Baha’i. That will be the greatest example to the children. If we tell them thousands of stories, and commandments, instructions, laws of Baha’u’llah, that will never have an effect as much as one little deed of parents, Baha’i life—please remember — doesn’t mean anything else except water to fish. This is Baha’i Life. We are all living like fish in water.
The water which is created by the Faith of Baha’u’llah. We are living in this, community all together. If we take our children out of this water, or ourselves, death is expecting us. Sometimes unfortunately, we find this water a little bit muddy because of our backgrounds; because of our shortcomings; because of our not understanding well the Faith of Baha’u’llah. Even when the water is so full of mud that you can’t see the fish, the fish should still stay in that water. Out of it death is expecting.
Therefore if there is, in this connection, a complaint against the Baha’i community — that Baha’is do something that we can’t consider as Baha’i Life — it’s alright. Let’s bear each other. Let’s suffer with each other and he happy that the result will be excellent for our children.
LET THEM FEEL THE LOVE OF GOD IS DOING EVERYTHING FOR THEM
Then He says bring them up in such a manner that the perfume of the love of God will influence their whole existence. What does it mean? When we plant a tree, the tree must be exhibited to the sunshine and to the breezes which come to them. It means always to place the child in such a position that he feels the love of God is doing everything for him, and. the breeze of the Merciful is refreshing him.
TELL STORIES IN THE HOME
This will be done by, again, two things. One is the life of the parents in the house. And second is the beautiful stories of the early believers which will be said in the house. Let the children play over there, but the father and mother sitting here, having tea and conversation talk to each other about the early believers. This will create a beautiful atmosphere in the house. In this condition He says the children will become like fresh stems which are planted in the garden of God, and will grow with the perfections of God.
DISCUSS THE WRITINGS IN THE HOME
Whenever you study the Writings of Baha’u’llah, make some references and then discuss these things between yourselves. Don’t oblige the children to come and sit. Just discuss them in the atmosphere of your house. The whole atmosphere will be vibrated with the spiritual atmosphere of Baha’u’llah, and the children in due time will be born spiritual.
SAY PRAYERS OUT LOUD IN THE HOME
Say your prayers in the morning and don’t be ashamed because you say prayers. Are we ashamed to say to somebody, “I love you?” No, we are proud that we have the sense of loving. Therefore why should we be ashamed of ourselves if we stand in front of our creator and tell Him, “I love You, and I want to abide by Your Will.” Say it loud in the house so that the waves of these beautiful Words of God will penetrate in all the corners of your house.
One of the people here in California last time I was here in California came to me and said. he wanted to be registered as a Baha’i.
I asked him why he didn’t come before? He said: For one reason, when I was in Tehran and every morning I woke up, I heard two voices coming to my room. One from my father’s room and one from my mother’s room. Both were chanting their morning prayers. The waves of this chanting gave me a new life, an new joy for the whole day. Even now after twenty years, every morning I hear the echo of those beautiful musical sounds. How I want to get married, and. I want my children to have the same joy that I had.”
Why should we deprive the children from hearing the Words of God. Let them hear even if they are suckling, and let them hear the prayers also. With the obligatory prayers they hear every day the same words, the same genuflections. It will have a penetrating influence in the children. And then, say other prayers different times of the day. Don’t force them to come and listen. As you say the prayers here, or chant, or sing, or intone, whatever you do, the waves will be carried and the children will receive them. The time will come when the child will say he wants to go to the Baha’i classes. He wants to learn prayers, and there is no difficulty. When he is fifteen he wants to become a responsible member of the community.
Because of our deeds the children may go away from the Faith; may be tired from the life in the house; may hate the parents, and they’ll be lost forever to us. Let’s always have them think of the house as a place where they have been enjoying every moment of it. The greatest enemy of this spiritual embryo is backbiting. Backbiting is like cancer. When it comes to a house it’s contagious. Removal of it is extremely difficult. Uprooting it the whole house will be disturbed. Therefore let’s never have this in our homes.
PARENTAL UNITY AND COOPERATION
When we are welded together under the canopy of God with the permission of God, with the Word of God — it means now our life belongs to Him. Therefore never, never, think of any difference between husband and wife. Let’s never bring the reflection of the life of this twentieth century of a life of a civilization which is dying into the Baha’i houses.
Let’s be in absolute unity. If there are difficulties please support them for the sake of the protection of your child. One night the wife wants to go to a certain committee and work for Baha’u’llah. It will be an honor for the man to stay at home and take care of the children, and vise versa. If the man is a member of Assembly the wife says: “Go and don’t think of the children. I’ll take care of them, and I will support you in everything.” This is the reciprocate love which we have for each other in the Baha’i life. The greatest affection that we can show for each other is in this respect.
HUSBAND AND WIFE MUST SUPPORT ONE ANOTHER
In the life of Pasteur you will see that the wife would prepare food for him, waiting at the table from six o’clock till about two or three after midnight when he would come down from his laboratory. She had been sitting there waiting and praying for her husband to be successful in his discoveries. Then both of them prayed together so that God would guide them on the proper path and find some little things about human health. That’s why he became one of the greatest discoverers in the early days (of this Period).
Women are the greatest factor of human life. ‘Abdu’l-Baha has said something about women, I have found it recently, that I want to study the history of the world over again. He says when you go to the bottom of all the greatest historical events of the world, you will find women have been at the bottom of it. I mean the greatest inventions, the greatest discoveries, the greatest changes in the periods of history have been done by women.
Napoleon the great, says women move the cradle with one hand and the world with the other. That’s true, really it’s true. Particularly when you show love to your husband love to the work that he is doing. Encourage the husband for what he is doing for the Cause, for what he has written, spoken and so on.
‘ABDU’L-BAHA’S WAY OF EDUCATION
You know ‘Abdu’l-Baha’s way of education was one which is very difficult to follow, but we must try. He would look into the face of man or women and like a torch of light went deep into the soul of man, and brought out that which was good in him. We must do the same thing, search in the soul of the child, and try to find that jewel which is deposited there; and bring it out, end tell him that you have this in you. He used this very, very often.
You know there was a man in Akka, who always caused troubles for the friends. He was also coming to ‘Abdu’l-Baha, to ‘Abdu’l-Baha’s meetings, to ‘Abdu’l-Baha’s house. Then one day, ‘Abdu’l-Baha received the news that there was an American pilgrim who would like to come to Akka, but due to restrictions he could not come. What did ‘Abdu’l-Baha do?
He called the same man who was always making difficulties for him. He said: “I want you to do something for me. I know that you can do it.” He said, Yes Master, what can I do? He said, there is a pilgrim and his name is this. You go to Haifa, bring him here and for two or three days he will be with me. Then you will, take him back to Haifa to his boat. Nobody should know except you and me. He said: I’ll do it!
And ‘Abdu’l-Baha said: He did it for me. Nobody knew about it though he was causing difficulties for ‘Abdu’l-Baha. When He told him: I know you will do it for me! At that the good nature of the man came out. He was ambitious now to have the full satisfaction of ‘Abdu’l-Baha, and he did it for Him. The same thing is true for everyone. Now, it is the duty of the teachers, the mothers and fathers to understand these great qualities in their children and bring them out.
STORIES OF HOW BAHA’U’LLAH, ‘ABDU’L-BAHA EDUCATED CHILDREN
I would like to tell some of the stories of ‘Abdu’l-Baha and how He educated children. There is a man in Haifa, he is very old now and almost invalid. He said when he was a child he used to gamble, and a very expensive one too. Instead of playing with marbles, they used to play with coins in the olden days. Who ever hit the coin out of the circle the coin would be his.
He said: I was playing this one day in the street. As a matter of fact every day I was playing. One day as I was aiming at the coin I found something hurting my ear. I looked this way and found ‘Abdu’l-Baha having put a pebble or stone here, and with his two fingers was pressing. He said: I was not afraid when I saw ‘Abdu’l—Baba. But more ashamed of what I had been doing.
‘Abdu’l-Baha lifted me up and walked with me, while He was holding my ear. Walked with me throughout the streets to His own house, number seven where the pilgrims go and visit. At the door of the house, He let my ear go.
Then we went inside, and He told His servant, Ahmad is a very good. boy, I have come to have tea with him. He is an excellent boy. I have come to have tea with him. Prepare some cups of tea.
I was more ashamed of myself because ‘Abdu’l-Baha said I was a very good boy, and wanted to have tea with me.
We sat down and had tea, and after a half hour or so ‘Abdu’l-Baha looked at me and said, Now it’s time for you to go home.
While going He told the servant: Give him one majedie (one majedie was a round silver coin almost costing two or three dollars in those days.) Give him one majedie. He needs it!
You see the illusion? He needs it! And this boy said: Ever since then, I never played. I never desired to gamble.
The reason is very clear, because resistance was not shown by ‘Abdu’l-Baha. He just walked with him. He changed his whole nature by love, by bringing out that which was good in him. Like a torch light He threw it into his soul, and. brought that goodness out, covered the darkness of gambling.
But what was the result. He said the day after that, the desire, that longing of going and playing was taken from me absolutely. Now I am sure if he was beaten or if the parents would have used some harsh words with him, he would go again. But this taking easy and bringing out the good part of the child and letting that good part that beautiful spirit overwhelm the child is the best remedy. That’s what He means by awakening the child to the mistake that he has committed.
Another boy, I mean old believer from the time of Baha’u’llah, told me; Every Friday the Master used to examine our writing. He looked at the weeks writing and gave a prize, a pen or pencil, or sweets, something, or a word even. He said: One week I had not done any writing, therefore I took in the same as the week before.
When He was coming down from the stairs to group of students — boys standing — He looked into my face, while coming down. I was shivering after fear. But, again He looked at my page and said; It’s good, but you have not advanced. That’s all He said. Yes! No rebuking, no frowning, prize was given a word of praise was given to him, no humiliation, no revealing secret in front of other children. No just the sin covering eye.
The same boy said he was younger than that a mere child that in the summer time it becomes so hot around Akka that the people go to siesta, to sleep in the afternoon.
He said when everybody was asleep in the mansion of Baha’u’llah, including Baha’u’llah Himself in His room, this boy went to the kitchen, sat down on the floor, plunged his hand into a sack of sugar to eat sugar while he was pouring it on the floor, and on his own clothes.
He said: Then I saw Baha’u’llah coming in. He brought me a saucer and a spoon. He (Baha’u’llah) said. to pour with this spoon into the saucer, and take for your brother also. That’s all’ He did to him.
He didn’t say: Why didn’t you sleep? Don’t you know the others are asleep now? Who told you to come into the kitchen? He just trained him what to do: Not to plunge your hand into the food, use the spoon, pour it here onto the saucer, and take for your brother also.
Vast difference between what had been done by the Most Great of all the Educators, and what we really do with our precious children sometimes.”
Baha’u’llah was reported to have given sweets to His own grandchildren, the daughter of ‘Abdu’l-Baha, and out of politeness they didn’t want, to eat in the room of Baha’u’llah. They wanted to go out. Baha’u’llah told them: No! eat it here. If you go out the Master will take them from you and give them to other children.
Now many of these things can be recited from the life of ‘Abdu’l-Baha about children, and how to more educate their soul than their physical entity. The most important part is to have the two together grow, not to leave one side untouched and the other side so much emphasized.
PART 9 : Forbidden Actions
He says two things are very bad for children: one is beating the child. Beating! You must never beat the child. Beating means with a sense of revenge or humiliation.
Suppose they bring a child in front of the class and beat him. This will suffocate the spirit within the child; will make the child recoil in himself and God knows when he will come back to himself. He says learn this from the Arabs who train horses. While training a horse they never beat a horse. They say, if you beat him once he will never be trained.
The second one, worse than that, is tongue lashing the child. Never do that! Never humiliate the child in front of the other children, even alone in one’s own house. He said this is very, very bad. For the spirit of the child: To use accursed words; to use cursing to the children, or belittling the children, or comparing their child to another child. You see the other one knows multiplication table. You still don’t know it! The other one has read ten books and you haven’t read. even one.
We expect that all the children should be like each other, ‘Abdu’l-Baha says no. Go through the stores of the whole world He says, and find the grains of wheat. You can never find two grains resembling each other.
Why should we expect our children should all be as if there is a machine giving them out in the same size, the same capacity, and so on. It’s impossible!
Therefore try to find an independent way by which you can deal with your own children. Never compare with others end never let others compare their children with yours. Sometimes the mothers or fathers have an attitude of flattering their own children: Oh, doesn’t your child walk yet? My child is running and in a month he will play football. They belittle the other children. Never let this happen, and because of these words never force and press a child to walk.
I have seen all these things. I saw in a meeting somewhere a child said salom, it’s an Arabic word for greeting and the other mother was beating her child to say salom. I said: please don’t do that! The time will come when he will say salom also, but he has his own time. We must have pity, respect and love for our children and never abuse them in our own life. He says by beating them and by tongue lashing we will destroy the character of the children, and the results would be detrimental to the family.
Children are the trust of God given to us, precious treasure one of God given to us. We must have lots of wisdom, patience, and love for them, and with them. We must do something if they do wrong to be awakened to that situation.
And of course first time, second time, hundredth time, they will not be awakened. Be patient with the children, the time will come when they’ll understand this is wrong and they’ll never do it. They will understand themselves what are the things which are wrong. We must have lots of patience with them.
BACKBITING
Do you know the Prophet Muhammad describes backbiting as a person who is eating the flesh of his dead brother. He says: Do you like that? Do you like to eat the flesh of your dead brother? He says backbiting is like this — it’s mentioned in the Koran. He says two persons are accursed by God, one who backbites and the one who listens.
【This e-book was produced from editable scanned copies of the transcription of the talks given by Hand of the Cause of God Mr A. Q. Faizi formally type-written on pieces of paper and was given to the compiler for the purpose of translating into Chinese in the year 1993. The Chinese translation of the whole text is available for free at this site: http://bahai-story.johorbahruinfo.com/】
Compiled by Lee Hoy Chin on 25th June 2012
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